Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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