Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
