Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
someone owes me an orgasm
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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