if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Holy sore nipples Batman
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
