he shaved USA in his pubs
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I need moral support for this bender
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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