Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
