I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I deserve this hangover.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
