Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
