Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
