That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
