she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she pinky promised me she was 18
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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