i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
