Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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