They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
