my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
