don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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