those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
