erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
