I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
