He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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