Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
