I'm gonna have a badass scar
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
