she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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