I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
