pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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