was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
