Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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