Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
