Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
