Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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