I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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