Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
