Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
