Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
