What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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