You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
