We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
