She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
