he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
