gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
