Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
