i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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