I love black thongs
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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