it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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