Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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