who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
