with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
