how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
