So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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