i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
