Only a mothe r could love this liver
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dear god my vagina.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
